Saturday, February 28, 2015

Honestly

Who am I to hoard the past upon my shoulder's shelf
Don't we paint the fairest when the portrait is of self
I was strong upon my ground despite what thunder came
Sometimes those who would accuse should truly own the blame


02.28.2015

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

What's Behind Door Number 1?

Some of us travelers
Some of us chained
Some of us battlers
Some of us slain
I've yet to locate the fountain of youth
But I'll fall on old age before quitting on proof
I'm an enigma, a curtained off yard
I'm so soft underneath that I have to be hard
Please pick a bucket, a column, a home
Someplace that I can regard as my own
Solomon, please, can you split me in two
Let me part from myself, for I'm coming unglued
I'm here for claiming, describe what you know
Carry me back to wherever you'll go
I'm a decision that's yet to be made
I am equal parts stagnant and daring crusade
Some of us slain
Some of us battlers
Some of us chained
Some of us travelers


02.24.2015

648

I've no preponderance, nothing to point to
I'm just a prefix, I'll start to anoint you
But finishing means something else quite entirely
Fired myself and I can't seem to hire me
Faith is a basket I plan to hold steady
But I place it down soon as life gets too heavy
Maybe my thoughts should be better dispersed
Every egg in this wicker, planned not for the worst
All my hopes tightly pursed, for I've nowhere to spread them
They're jars full of jellies with no knife to bread them
I'm just a few digits, I'm not the whole number
I could understand with some truth to stand under
God made us to wonder, but this is too much
If You plan to break bones, at least give me a crutch
While I'm touched You believe I've got such a high threshold
It seems a bit twisted that life got so pretzeled
So I'm going to dial like Russian roulette
And if nobody answers, then I'll just forget


02.24.2015

Monday, February 23, 2015

Clean Plate Club

My soul is starving, an empty balloon
Wizard of flaws meets dark side of the spoon
I'm a passenger here, there's a cook at the wheel
And I'm mixing my metaphors, folding with steel
Somebody feed me, my napkin on lap
Bib round my neck, and a rib neatly scrapped
Sauce on some faces, but mine looks brand new
Didn't say grace, but I've nothing to chew
Except that I think I'm some sort of a feast
For I'm housed in a belly attached to the beast
And at least that allows me to gather some food
As it falls down the throat, it's already been chewed


02.23.2015

Throw Away the Key

I wrestle with silence, it struggles with me
Like a floor full of quiet that grabs at my feet
And a murder of crows, like a killing of eyes
All of them perched, they're all ready to dive
I can send them well wishes, or vicious intent
But they stare nonetheless, with suspicious dissent
Who am I to place blame? I would question me too
I'm not half of the me that would tell half the truth
To be fifty percent seems a lofty endeavor
If I'm being honest, I'll never say never
But I've never known if my attitude saves me
Or causes the trouble I'm in, it enslaves me
So I'm back to quiet and watching the waves
And waiting til thoughts find their way to their graves


02.23.2015

Friday, February 20, 2015

Take 5 (or 10)

I'm tired of hearing the sound of my thoughts
Exhausted by ink, and these lines that I've sought
I need a break from just feeling at all
As another year falls, I've a calendar small
I could collapse with the weight of my waits
But I'd rather just stop spinning so many plates
And I'd almost prefer sitting silent through time
To relinquish control that has never been mine


02.20.2015

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Therapy

Each now and then, though quite close to the vest
The air in my lungs just escapes from my chest
Handful of seconds where breathing evades me
Breathlessness viciously seeks to invade me
I don't talk to angels, but they speak to me
Calculate angles that I seek to see
And a small peek for me is too much of a glance
So I'm starting at nothing, a self-induced trance
All the chances we take on a day to day basis
We're simply not saving, we're spending our faces
I should just erase this, it's serving no purpose
Except that it makes me feel not quite as worthless


02.19.2015

I Think

I think that I should give me up for lent
No, I'm not Catholic, just way too intense
I've a letter in my head that I never sent
Yes it's stamped to my brain and worth 49 cents
I suppose I should schedule time to repent
Not proactive enough, I can't learn to prevent
Life is always a struggle, just different extents
I want genuine change, but I've spent all my sense
And the problems I'm facing just feel too immense
I suppose it's my fault, I assembled the fence
But I can't seem to climb it, too heavy and dense
All my muscles are tight, I'm just too fucking tense
And I'm in way too deep, I would kill for ascent
To rise from the ashes would be an event
I miss the old me, don't know where he went
But I bet you he's happy, one hundred percent


02.19.2015

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Whisper

Even when evening sits quietly by
I've still no method to quiet my mind
Somehow protected from quieter times
Cure this infection? It's riot or rhyme
Prescription has side effects, change the reflection
Description of my intent, find the inception
Decisions that I resent, sent, no reception
Receive and believe, not the same, that's deception
Inflict my inflection, it's always internal
Nights get so restless, you'd think I'm nocturnal
Hide, I'm a turtle, I'm slow to expose
Sigh, then return to what everyone knows
I've a reality, not like those shows
Mine is a garden that silently grows
I speak so cryptically, hope you don't mind it
I've a descriptive me, can't seem to find it
I've just resigned it, my plan to implode
Polished and shined it, unbreakable code
Didn't design it, I'm stuck in this mode
Accept what I cannot change, travel this road
The turns and the exits exist, I suppose
I just can't seem to see them, don't mean to impose
I'm sorry to bother you, pardon my pleas
May I whisper my wishes, so quietly, please?


02.18.2015

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

At Its Closest

Proximity forces our titles undone
Think of stars, for the close ones we've labeled as sun
Moreover, the suns who have drifted away
Simply stars, void of warmth, can't lend light to a day
So the space between me and the stars may not grow
But the shine is an afterthought, think of its glow
If we all took the time, would we be constellations?
A series of suns, in a warm culmination...


02.17.2015

Octobers

Sometimes Octobers create things
Sometimes the fall air can kill
I'm far too sober to make wings
Like when I counted on pills
I hope the process rewards me
I feel like faith owes a debt
I can't collect what is owed me
Praying I never forget
Fine lines just lay in the center
Splitting the pole not a choice
I feel like I'm an inventor
Just can't create my own voice
I masquerade as a victim
Feel more like I caused the crime
Cuff my hands, you can't convict them
I'll bargain down for no time
My silver tongue tried to fool me
Comfort, a creature I hate
Quiet means noise waits to cool me
Leaves die and land on my plate


02.17.2015

Monday, February 16, 2015

Don't Forget to Happy

Far from the stitched fear of day
Leagues beneath parlors of past
Gathered in dust that won't settle
Breathing the particles vast
Following steps for the witching
Watching the change in the winds
Stopping does justice to nothing
Nothing yearns hard to begin
I won't seat ghosts at my table
I can't beseech them and stand
Under my tutelage smite them
Time I now move my own hand
Deep is the ember that coaxes
Fire roars hot to escape
Constructs that color my passion
My blood runs redder than tape


02.16.2015

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Soul

Late, as this night soul was wandering
Sword of a knight lay my side
Somewhere, with armor, quite vacant
Stolen, my weapon to hide
Noble are tastes that live meager
Senses I've since washed away
Plating, pretending fair banquets
Pairing with tasting fair day
Images shift where they're seated
Artists, they hunt with their paints
Eyes of the mind garner substance
Substantive dreamers all faint
Wells wish themselves more well meaning
Borrowing coins, may we cope
Change is a fruitless endeavor
Lest we've a soul meant to hope


02.15.2015

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Fool Me


Fool me, this heart, as you pause to reveal
The path that I'll travel, the route that I'll feel
Fool me, this heart, and be settled for times
That I pay for your dreams, and I pray for your crimes
Fool me, this heart, let me glance at the sky
And spend no more moonlight just wondering why
Fool me, this heart, may I wake for a day
Where I don't feel so foolish for feeling this way


02.14.2015

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Step None

These nervous habits my body's acquired
Have sprouted from moments I've tried to retire
And I have suspicions that my plane is crashing
My pilot is missing and red lights are flashing
So riddle me this, if you're not busy basking
Exactly which questions should my lips be asking?
What is the action that I should be taking?
What fucking choices am I to be making?
Excuse not my language, for these are my words
And to coat them in sugar? That shit's for the birds
I am now choosing blatant, direct and quite pointed
I'm not bending phrases, they're no longer jointed
My tongue was a toll booth, and now it's a freeway
Don't blink your eyelids, there will be no replays
I've got two feet and they're firm in position
They're square under shoulders that carry ambition
And edit away, but I don't want revisions
I'll crash if I must, I can brace for collisions
If habit must force me, I'll strong-arm him back
Even if the result is no arm coming back


02.11.2015

Starshine


Stars hold a view that I envy sincerely
Distanced from this heart that's aching severely
A memory older than that which now pains me
Times when a smile was that which would frame me
The years all gave way, through a series of changes
Happiness settles, but life rearranges
And things in this room have all landed, not placed here
So fighting the urge feels like I just embrace fear
And I let the scare and the guilt fill my sail
But my boat sits ashore, I'm just sand in a pail
When the shovel collected me, I can't recall
But the shine from the stars now has no path to fall
So the light that I used is now so far removed
I've learned to change does not mean to improve


02.11.2015

Monday, February 9, 2015

Left. Right?


Elegance and symmetry are lost on those with scars
Common sense, I'm common cents, like pennies in a jar
Rainy days should have a fund and they should be repaired
Like somehow when the heavens fall, we simply shouldn't scare
Well I'm prepared for little, that's why much seems to attack
Weaknesses are glaring and I stare too much at facts
Axes fall at moment's notice, many blocks to chop
Pausing actions not the same as finally pressing stop
Pair of hands whose steadiness is on the slow decline
Faith I've placed in waiting space was lost by the devine
Maybe it's my patience that could use a shine and spit
Polish me, abolish me, but in-between is shit


02.09.2015

Point of No Concern

Lately my lately is losing my favor
And I spend my nows simply praying for later
I'm sifting through hows in an effort to know
How I ended up here with no somewhere to go
And my phrases are weighted, I've waited so long
Scribbled down thousands of poems and bad songs
Built a nice box just to store my emotions
I think that this box would be more helpful opened
So find me a knife, and I'll rip through the tape
Let me sharpen it first and I'll cut to the chase
Let me harken to depths that are long unexplored
And my list of demands that I've somehow ignored
I've absorbed to my limit, a sponge that now drips
And this clenching of fist? I'm just coming to grips
And this steady expression? A conscious decision
Actual calm would much likely look different
But that's just a guess, I've got no way to know
Either way I've grown tired of being a show


02.09.2015

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Armchair Resolution

My weapon of choice is a well patterned stare
And I calculate distance in terms of who's there
I can settle just fine if I've mixed it just right
I can meddle in minds just to pass through the night
All my hollow endeavors are filling quite slowly
I'll buy me a mirror so I'll get to know me
I've nothing to show me, a present I'm shaking
It's almost as silent as thoughts that I'm making
But I'll just keep scratching and sharpen my pen
Keep on thinking my words will just blossom again
That's the thing about gardens, they bloom over time
But I'm counting on growth to just fall from the sky


02.07.2015

Friday, February 6, 2015

Eating Paste

Sometimes I struggle to squeeze out some phrasing
I'd love to feast, but it seems I'm just grazing
Some show a steady response, but I'm crazing
The facts are the facts, I don't feel that amazing
But I'll just pontificate, like I've a place to
Dear common sense, I've been forced to replace you
Floating away like I'm filling a space suit
And I've got some demons I can't paste a face to
I think they're the type so committed to chase you
A glow in the night, like two eyes made to trace you
The kind that steal space, they're a vase, they encase you
You're losing this race, they will ever out pace you
But I think my younger years gave me direction
I voted for life, it's one damn close election
I print all my words, never print a correction
I feel what I feel, yes I own my infection
And I speak too quickly when passion takes over
I've luck neverlasting, I can't find a clover
Believe it or not, I'm a bone, dry and sober
Please just ignore when I fall like October
I'd love to fall back to a time that was real
With a simpler mind and no worries to heal
When my pain was just something a BandAid could steal
When a carton of milk and some paste was a meal


02.06.2015

Minus

I can write but never learned to read
Never stay to watch it grow, I only plant the seed
I can make a wave but I don't swim
Talk to God inside my brain, but rarely sing the hymn
I can ask but answering, a trick
Point out all the options, but I'll struggle hard to pick
Hold my weight but carry nothing more
Curl inside my raft instead of paddle me to shore


02.06.2015

Thursday, February 5, 2015

When You Wish Upon a Scar

Leather still smells like depression
Some songs are too hard to hear
Text has no sense of inflection
Memories can't be sincere
Winters keep gathering summers
Summers keep making me fall
Steps with no spring or no thunder
But plenty of rain to recall
All of this pain that I sleep on
Feels like a bed made of nails
Not steaming forward, I creep on
Worried I'll fall off the rails
Some places bite more than others
Some jaws have power some don't
I'd love to locate my druthers
Perhaps it's by choice that I don't


02.05.2015

Monday, February 2, 2015

Shine


Learning to shine despite that which might dull me
Diamonds on shores of my bruise
Stepping with time despite efforts to lull me
Metronomes live in my shoes
I hold quite warmly to late incubations
Settled and nested in hope
I'm no great man, but I've great expectations
Anticipate learning to cope
I'm a son set on the sun quickly rising
So much so I can't seem to sleep
Small but I'm destined to do some resizing
A growing boy playing for keeps
Found in a fountain, a well made for wishing
I dove right in on my own
Please, eager hands, I ask you not go fishing
At least til my wish is full grown


02.02.2015

Darkness There (And Nothing More)

With the snow so calmly falling
I can give way to my stalling
Bricking dreams, discreetly walling
Building higher than before
    Pay no mind to voices calling
    Let them live behind my door


Vengeful clock goes on a ticking
Seconds slip by, never sticking
Chosen hands will do no picking
Settle slow, where words ignore
    Blinking leads to years of tricking
    Pay with credit, feed the store


Freeze the earth, and grow the quiet
Hungry hands were made to diet
Knocking knuckles, few would try it
Send them off, expect no more
    One tear left, no plans to cry it
    Concrete lock that sculpts my door


Share the peace, the pieces wonder
Simple puzzle, age old blunders
Might these eyes just peer for plunder
They know not what waits in store
    I'm above, but nothing's under
    Hidden, empty, at my core


Frames of doors to frame my will
Enter, standing far too still
Tight around me, not quite filled
Taken steps, a thief implored
    Knocks persist with perfect skill
    Cage them all behind my door


Flight is left for those with wings
And little fear of what that brings
The birds have so much time to sing
A raven floats up to my shore
    Black as night and darker things
    Just darkness there, and nothing more


02.02.2014

Ready, Set, Grow

My heart sings of destiny, of shadows bathed in light Paths that form before my feet, and waiting out the night Journeys made for chosen...