Monday, December 28, 2015

Declaration of Codependence

I need these words and they need me for breath
I give them life and they keep me from death
Longing is weakness and I struggle mightily
Sadness, a ship in grey skies, watch it fight the sea
Proud of my phrasing, and I’ve got a right to be
Desperately ache to escape what I write of me
Make no mistake, I’ve got plenty of those
Rehash them daily, I live to suppose
Closed to the logic that finds me a hero
I’ve opened my ledger to nothing but zeros
Coughing up thoughts so hard I’m seeing spots
Pain in my veins, so thick, I’m getting clots
Knots upon knots, I keep trying to loosen
Entered my own little box, brought my noose in
A figure of speech, of course, liberty taken
A giant-sized slumber, should not have awakened
If I’m not mistaken, then I’m not alive
I live for assumptions, I’m eager to dive
Empty or full, I’m head first for the pool
So self-conflicted, I argue with fools
I’m sure I’ve digressed, that a point was intended
I was a champion once, I pretended
But since then, my years, they have opened my eyes
Unmasked the legend and burned my disguise
So I cope through my prose, a sad little existence
I meet their demand with such little resistance
And so many times have I promised them dead
But we need one another, we're needle and thread
We're so symbiotic, we're throned when both present
And separate, we die, just two sad, lonely peasants
Some chances taken are worth the regret
Just as this blue sun arose… it must set

12.28.2015

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Doomed To Repeat Yourself

Waiting for days that have already passed
Old first impressions of coming in last
Numbing with spirits to check the incision
Revisionist medicine, bandaged decisions
As soon as you realize history’s died
You can focus on focusing, clarity spied
You'll evoke the precipitous person you knew
The more prone to smiling version of you
The one with the scissors to cut off your cast
Your freedom released when you martyr your past

12.23.2015

Minor Chords, Major Pain

Why do I swim in the saddest of songs?
Soaked to the bone in refrain
Minor chord currents and sad sing-alongs
Lyrics I’ve penned to my brain
Why do I second the motions they're making?
A plea with a tune, I’m enthralled
Why do I listen when hearing means breaking?
‘Cause pain beats no feeling at all

12.23.2015

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Sonnet 6: Saltwater Meets Air

Poetry, pour me, this cask where I sleep
Slumber, a monster, a beast with no cage
Dig to the root of me, ever so deep
Home is a myth, unless home is a page
Bridges o’er oceans, I dreamt of a coast
Arms that I stretched to the next with great care
Poison in potions, a sip from the host
Ship living where the saltwater meets air
I'll be what's needed, my needs always change
Nothing is stable, I’ve never a base
Close to the vest, I've a heart with no range
Close to my chest, I’ve this old aging face
Pardon my overtones, subtle and true
Grind me with purpose, I’m muddling through

12.22.2015

Monday, December 21, 2015

Now or Later

I’m a romantic, a skeptic, and such
I’m so empathic, eclectic, and rushed
I’m no magician, I wish like the next man
I wait for good cards and I pray I’ve the best hand
I’d love to be younger with facts of today
Quick on my feet and to mean what I say
Slow to judge others, to smother desires
I’d spend my time stoking, not putting out fires
It’s down to the wire, at least it would seem so
I spend my nights waking, and that’s why I dream slow
Our youth is so wasted, so many missed moments
A heart that we lease ‘cause we're to poor to own it
And too scared to find just a pinch of self-worth
Growing monsoon, a mere rain drop at birth
I’m just worse for the wear, never been taken off
A small tickled throat, now a fever and cough
I’m losing the point, I’m an overused knife
A straight-faced sad story, an unamused life

12.21.2015

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Ready... Aim...

Desolate hands upon destitute glass
Shopping through windows, a cold hopeless mass
Pardon my periscope, I raise it rarely
A craftsman in training, I’m making it, barely
I dare you to scare me, I don’t like your chances
I’ve seen enough fear, I've cemented my stances
I’ve grappled with clouds that I filter the sun through
I’ve rooted my feet, I’ve got nowhere to run to
I’ve proven myself way beyond your doubt’s shadow
I’m aiming for happiness, plenty of ammo

12.19.2015

Friday, December 18, 2015

Peddling Petals

Primrose intrusions for yellow-stained hearts
Faded conclusions, our settled-in parts
Starts cede to stops, for these seeds that we've thumbed
Green is the goal, but we'll likely succumb
We grow like we should, I suppose, may we flower
Aprils and Mays truly hold all the power
Devoured by circumstance, we’re just so tasty
I’ve never been one to just blossom all hasty
I’ll hide that I’ve bloomed, I’ll cover my face
No destiny worse than to die in a vase
No end to my story like full hearts around me
Bury me up to my knees, baby, ground me
Verb me and noun me, speak softly, I’ll listen
I’m floating, but never been properly christened
I’m mixing my metaphors, sorry, not sorry
I’m fixing to let it go, I came to party
I came to express and I’ll do so quite freely
When I bloom it matters not that you can't see me
Demanding a flower appear on request
Makes you shallow and rootless, all surface, no depth

12.18.2015

Mis(ter)understood

Old ink-stained whispers
And digital musings
Pale exhumed memories
All so confusing
Sunburn me, Saturdays
Peeled like potatoes
A taste of my happy place
Not from a plate though
First to just wander
With old second guessings
That third of the trinity
Brought forth these blessings
I kept those exchanges
In vaults you won’t see
I paid in cold agony
Turns out it’s free
But the hard way?
That's always the way that I choose
Because that which you earn
You’re less likely to lose

12.18.2015

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Spoils the Bunch

Telling the truth, not yelling the truth
Keep your words soft and your heart will stay couth
Keep your tone low, the cool beat in your chest
Hang by a thread, I’ll unravel this mess
Dangle your feet like they’re bait from the dock
Hands both straight up, like the start of the clock
Midnight is new, but the second before it
The end of the day, I would love to ignore it
I'd rather not make it a pivotal moment
The kind you posses, but you’d rather not own it
Elephant minute, we never forget
I’ve 59 seconds, and 1 I regret

12.17.2015

Resurrect the Bar

Airsick astronaut
Derelict of duties
I should shine these days much better
Turn ‘em all to beauties
Hard pressed and effortless
Push myself for more
Perfect imperfectionist
Don’t tally up my score
Battlefield a mirror
Waging war against my goals
Right now goals are crushing me
The weight of dirt from holes
Digging is an art form
And I’m something of an artist
Sketching tests I cannot fail
So I can be the smartest
Walking all my races
So my time can keep improving
Relative to garbage
Trash has little need for proving
Relative to destiny
Results are free from awe
I’ll unearth the bar and raise it
Bury all my flaws

12.17.2015

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Curtain

I’ll take one reason, a good one preferred
I’ll embrace treason, my heartbeat interred
Funeral rites for the wrongs of the times
Effortless fights if you're free from the crime
I sit red-handed, with blood on the eaves
Dropping, demanded, like gravity’s leaves
Heavens are falling, so catch what you can
I’m so good at stalling, a natural plan
With the pie divvied up and the plates on the table
My coffee-filled cup, and a mouth full of fable
I’ve gathered the ears, they were ripe for convincing
I’ve oiled my gears, done appropriate wincing
Feasted with care, it moved slow like the tide
Consumed my fair share, but I’m starving inside

12.16.2015

Thursday, December 10, 2015

As Promises Go

I have been the other me
Toiling incessantly in moonless pools
Living the type of darkness that makes you question every single step
The type of darkness that seems to be tattooed to your soul
An inescapable mask, securely fashioned
I have been a rolling stone without a hill
Doctor's orders, plus a pill
I have come face to face with my own existence
Forced to map out every wrinkle
I have wasted days, rather, I’ve let days waste me
I have dragged down those who loved me, and stretched thin their resolve
I have bent their red plastic hearts, and watched them pinken
I have laced the wind with prayer
I’ve saturated the skies with screams
To be a pane of glass, nearly invisible, so transparent, and ultimately ignored…
I have been the other me
Never again.

12.10.2015

Monday, December 7, 2015

Meant To Be (A Victim)

Fate is just armor for knights with no sword
Trick to excuse one from earning rewards
Fate is no more than to dig your own grave
Embracing the worst, leave the best for the brave
Fate is just heart you can't wear on your sleeve
Silently wishing your pain is reprieved
Fate is just trading the cut for the scar
Cured with alignment of meaningless stars
Fate is escaping the clutches of death
Only to bate with your very next breath
Fate is absolving your choice in the matter
Accepting the curse with your 7-year shatter
Fate is a hypnotist fixing his gaze
To suggest you're imprisoned for all of your days

12.07.2015

Friday, December 4, 2015

Go Off

“How you been?”, never mean it
Never complain
Done swimming in this shit
Andy Dufresne
Don’t get stuck inside the past
Marty McFly
Such a fucking smarty pants
Never ask why
Elevator to the top
I'll take the stairs
Noah’s ark, chucking deuces
Fingers in pairs
Sick of this, red nose
Bozo the Clown
He said and she said
Pro with the nouns
Tolerate or hibernate
Choosing the cave
Look at me and tell the truth
Enough with the blave
Dollar and a dream, man
Dreams can be sold
Midas touch, don’t give a fuck
Written in gold

12.04.2015

Not a Bit Tamed

Warm blooded? Sure.
But this cold, metal stench,
It's welded my veins
And it twists like a wrench.
While I wield the most wild:
My barbaric soul…
The spices grow mild
When left in the cold.
May I keep my yawp toasty,
My feet to the fire,
I’ll coddle my passion.
I’ll raise my desire.
I’ll always expect
That I’m bred for success.
Achieve my potential.
Damn anything less.

12.04.2015

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Undercover

Heroes get theme songs, thematically speaking
My tune is a whisper, emphatically creaking
While others give glances, ecstatically seeking
I’m child, eyes covered, dramatically peeking
Those champions stare and they soak it all in
Surveying their kingdoms, and stroking their chins
Rile their pride up, just poking their sin
And my smile is drowning, I’m soaking my grin
But I’m holding my breath, yes I’ve planned my release
Drive spread like butter, it spans every crease
I’m an oiled machine, my two hands are well greased
I’ve heroic intentions, just un-man my leash

12.02.2015

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Pockets

No greater trust than the trust we give pockets
The keepers of that which we need
No greater lust than the lust we give profits
The stuffing of pockets, indeed
Gone is the moment emotion consumed me
When heart used to pick every stem
Pockets of days, they all dig to exhume me
When really, love, I should dig them
I was old fashioned, like beepers, like bowl cuts
Like days when my pockets were thin
I recall days with some fight in these old guts
When courage would trump all my sins
Now, just as empty, my pockets are starving
Their growling will not let me rest
Days are just meat now, in need of some carving
Just hands in my pockets, at best

12.01.2015

Ready, Set, Grow

My heart sings of destiny, of shadows bathed in light Paths that form before my feet, and waiting out the night Journeys made for chosen...