Friday, December 30, 2016

Nonsense

Passive aggressive, impressively passive
My faith in humanity, smaller, once massive
But age has a way of uncaging reality
If that was me, somehow life is corralling me
I’m for the taking, but I’ll give no time away
If not for bullshit I’d write 80 rhymes a day
Really, it’s easy, my quantity, quality
Get to the heart of me, you’ve got a wall to see
You’ve got confusion you never expected
Bravado, and passion, excitement, rejection
Complexity seeps from the thoughts that won’t blossom
My mind never sleeps, and that’s always my problem
 
12.30.2016

Faithful (100%)

I’d love to pinpoint a feeling, like pop songs
Still full of cuts, but I’m healing, I’m headstrong
It’s mind over matter. What matters? Perception
Strengthen or shatter? The latter, exception
A general rule, I prefer not to break
Secrets kept, like my cool, I’ve appointments to make
If you time me you’ll notice that I’m rarely late
Unless I’ve lost my interest, like waiting for fate
I had patience but lately that patience is waning
The smiles still surface, but most of them feigning
So gone are the times of the messenger’s bullet
It’s straight to the source, need I push it or pull it
The task matters not, I’m determined to act
For I say what I mean, and I keep every pact

12.30.2016

Be Careful What You Fish For (As You Wish)

Sometimes the curse is remembrance
I’m all for getting a chance to forget (I’m pro un-know)
Pictures you snapped when those negatives were positives
When the frame had not yet been burned to the ground
Back when flakes raced to our feet
Everything melts
Everything
Not one man has drawn breaths and beat time
A game of hide and seek, though we may be lost, we will be found
I once was crossed, but now I’m drowned
And the weight of the water was crushing
The days when the oughts were all gushing
I saw the future through rose colored poetry
I knew the good Lord had finally noticed me
Once we knew earth was flat
Reality is subjective, and I’ve been subjected to this slanted view for years
I’ve been reflected in tears
I’ve been inspected by fears
The cut of my jib is too dull to draw fondness
Akin to the pitch black depth of winter
Much like the nagging sting of a splinter
I stay
Until I’m removed
I have been dethroned, and made to grovel at the feet of defeat
I’ve penned my own obituary
I’ve scratched and clawed like a dog forced to make the porch his home
Home is where you make it
I’ve made my art with the meager supplies I’ve been given
And given the circumstances, I’ve done quite well
Well, had I a wish, it might be that I would forget
I embrace the struggle, but there comes a time
When every embrace must end.

12.30.2016

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Castles Crumble

Hopeless reach, a diplomat
Curtains do what curtains do
Satisfy the doorless mat
Certain light cannot break through
Pardon days I spend alone
Please convict the words I keep
Some hold hands, I hold the phone
Seas too far to watch me weep
Shout from ocean’s floor, a waste
Sky a distant dream, at best
Caught is only if we’ve chased
Never stamp what I’ve addressed
Exits marked in foreign tongues
Streets we pave with what we knew
Catch our breath, but drop our lungs
Naught but dreams to ill construe
 
12.29.2016

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

More of the Same

I've got this penance I’m penning, a sinner
No expert at righting my wrongs, a beginner
I’ll settle for writing these songs, and this poetry
Scan the crowd slow, for a moment, and notice me
I’ll be the one with two eyes to the sky
And this breath I keep bated, I’m waiting on why
Like the answers exist, like they’ll land in my lap
Like my old existential depression, unwrapped
And the gift in the box is a blade in a sheath
I can slice of my hope and find what’s underneath
I could re-gift the fact, if I knew how to use it
I'll hand you my bomb (I can’t seem to diffuse it)
On second thought, keeping it in is my skill set
I take on this pain and I’ve not had my fill yet
The second I’m full, you will know it, it’s obvious
I'll have to purge, find my cleanliness, Godliness
I’ve dismissed notions that all of this matters
Like I’m made of glass and these stones couldn’t shatter
I’m scattered, I’ve patterned myself after nothing
Just memories I haven't made yet, I’m bluffing
I’m praying I’ll buy all this bullshit I’m selling
The dreams I can't dream, my subconscious is quelling
And if I’m a story, I’m not for the telling
I’m best left unsaid, I find silence compelling

12.27.2016

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Assignment

I’m between mirrors right now, paused reflection
I’m placing a limit on flawed introspection
I can't be unbiased, I can't see the facts right
I stand on my pedestal, thinking I act right
So I became somebody else to be accurate
Making this new me a promise, the pact you get
Glad you bet so much that I'd beat the spread
But I'd close up your wallet, be praying instead
I'm not right in the head, cause I write from the heart
I'm as wrong as God knew me to be from the start
For surprises are few when your God is omnipotent
Know how the movie will end, we could lip sync it
But we're still watching it, hundreds of times
A predictable man, you could finish my rhymes
All my stanzas are standard, no customization
It's heartbreak, and sadness, and fear for our nation
A pinch of the peace that I see on occasion
Rare enough that it feels like an invasion
I've cells in my soul built to battle the smiles
And feel all the pain that the world puts in piles
It's dumped at my doorstep and I get to sort it
Consume what I'm given, don’t get to export it
So basically, I get to grapple with truth
I look fate in the wand and I wait for the poof
And if destiny put me inside of this brain
Then I urge the creator to stop and explain
There's a blue print the lot of us never will know
And it states that I'm given this mind that won't slow

12.20.2016

Sunday, December 18, 2016

If You Feel Something, Say Nothing

Sharpen your needle and stitch closed my lips
Thimbles of passion, consumed it in sips
Silent and thirsty, my memories blurring
Except when I’m sleeping, the scenes reoccurring
Ships that set sail, they go off and I stay here
Dock ‘neath my feet like I’m just on display here
I've nothing to say here, a cause not to speak this
The concrete has hardened, it's showing no weakness
The battle I raged and the decade since buried
My angst and my failings, a match that have married
The scarier moments, the shadows, the waking
Smiles I sketch on a canvas I’m faking
And taking the long way, the path most abandoned
Means laying in pain most could not even stand in

12.18.2016

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Friday, December 16, 2016

Dig Deep, Find Nothing

Snowflakes don’t land where they started,
That's me
My past is my dearly departed,
I'm free
Perspective can dictate the reference,
The change
I try to be someone I’ve long since
Exchanged
I see now returns aren't accepted,
Move forward
I think the old me would deflect it,
Just more words
It's whether or not you can live it,
Life's not fair
I stare in the mirror, forgiveness
Is nowhere
I’m seated when I should be standing,
Be speaking
I'll go back to being demanding,
I'm creaking
The age in my bones has a plan,
I defy it
I used to believe I’m the man,
I would riot
The space between you and I,
Spanning a planet
This just cannot be do or die
Or, wait, can it?
Is this like the ending, a poem,
It's so measured
Dig down, so deep, ‘neath your home,
No treasure

12.16.2017

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

That Which Won't Fulfill You Only Makes You Long More

Cradle what you yearn for
Shield it from the fray
Allocate aggressions kept
They're never for display
I know what you’re hiding
I’m where they would seek
Turn your back and count to 10
I know you plan to peek
Sneak a glance as time allows
If only in a dream
Midnight pens a letter
That I’m measuring in reams
You’re the sword I swallow
Just a blade I mean to tame
Cut is still a slice
If only by a different name
Rose is still a rose
And I suppose it’s still unique
Label me a bitter taste
A name you fear to speak

12.13.2016

Monday, December 12, 2016

Hearts Are For Seeing

The dark behind my eyelids is the only stop I know
Even then I'm watching for a long since cancelled show
More to come if you believe that dreams grow from the ground
Keep an ear pressed to the soil, listen for their sound
Desperately I mark my paces, measure it in strides
Make some order from this madness, pray that we'll collide
Me and all the armies that have come and gone before
Bury me in quiet water, let it be ignored
See myself as if I was the only man to bleed
Stacks of poems I’ve scratched alone, not a soul will read
Don't neglect the formula, it lives in fits and starts
Cite myself in solitude, for heartache makes great art

12.12.2016

Monday, December 5, 2016

No Worries

I used to cry
Oh man, those were the days
Furious blood
Iron beats through my veins
Shadows were real
But the daylight just not so
Whole kingdom mine
Except that place I’ll not go
Wait to be king?
I just can’t, cause I won’t be
Unopened eyes
Way too much that I don’t see
Nightmares exist
Only nights when I don’t dream
Everything dark
Probably best, so I don’t scream
Silence gets shattered
Like bad luck meets mirrors
Whispers unnoticed
You can’t even hear yours
Sentiments drop
They've a pillow to fall to
Burden of shock
So let nothing appall you

12.05.2016

Friday, December 2, 2016

Door Number Two (One if by Stand, Two if by Me)

Changes occur when you make them
Standers don't do, they just stand
I'm simply out of excuses
Time to supply my demand

12.02.2016

Baggage

I keep these bags ‘neath my eyes, a reminder
My options exhausted, like me
I kept my heart in a dusty, white binder
A sight that so few cared to see
Now I hang portraits, my lows aren't as low
But my heights are infrequent as well
Ain't that the point? Aren't we meant to stay neutral?
Never to dream, or see hell?
I've touched the bottom, a dive that still haunts me
You never miss air 'til it’s gone
I’ve built these closets to stash that which ails me
I viewed me a king, I'm a pawn
Royalty means that you're never admonished
In practice, if not in belief
Peasantry, though, is a quite different animal
One with no chance to show teeth

12.02.2016

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Fade

Whisper like you mean it, or
consider the alternative. Quiet.
Wrought with rot I stay here, still,
beneath the sky’s blanket, tucked in.
I fear shelter.
But don’t be so damn quick to damn me, dammit.
I know my subtlety wins me no prizes.
My trophy case is empty.
My lonely place befriends me.
I’m a simple thorn waiting to be stuck (as if I wasn't already).
As if I’ll never be steady.
It’s my instinct that’s led me, and for better or worse, I breathe still.
For never or first, I convene still.
It's just me and my thoughts, meeting up
like old friends over a cup of coffee.
We act as though years haven't passed us by, like an exit two lanes away.
We muddle through the awkward reality that old stains may never leave, but they do fade.

12.01.2016

Hands

Speaking like nary a second has passed
But the truth is that all of them will
Drawing on sketches erased long ago
On a chalice once destined to spill
Coldest of hands with no fire in sight
And I’ve cited myself far too much
Somehow believing my fiction was fact
That my hand was entitled to touch
Promulgate all that you like, if you must
If it helps, you can label and list
Feel for the numbness at fingers’ small tips
But forget not the arm and the wrist
Follow the blood, where it travels, its journey
The path, and the fall from the slice
Hold on so dearly to that still inside you
With hands clenching ever so tight

12.01.2016

Ready, Set, Grow

My heart sings of destiny, of shadows bathed in light Paths that form before my feet, and waiting out the night Journeys made for chosen...